As I said earlier, I planned to write about whatever popped into my head. Cancer is not a happy subject. I lost my husband to it, I lost a son-in-law to it, I have a step-nephew fighting it, I have a daughter who had a double mastectomy a year ago in her battle with it. I’m fortunate to be on the easier side with skin cancer.
I could have used another C word: Caregiver. I was the caregiver for my late husband in his two year battle. He never gave up, stayed positive, fighting till the end. We took up motorcycling during this time, he was the one who convinced me to learn to ride (and I’m so glad I learned). The summer before his death we traveled from Florida to Pennsylvania for a big motorcycle rally. Not a big deal, right? Actually, it was. He was fed strictly via a feeding tube. We’d stop at rest areas and he’d feed himself at one of the picnic tables.
Caregiving isn’t easy. It’s exhausting, keeping everyone updated, being the advocate for the patient, dealing with insurance and bills, all while remaining positive and smiling. Every time someone asks how you are doing, you smile and tell them you’re fine. But inside you want to scream in frustration and anger. But you don’t.
Cancer and Caregivers – you can’t have one without the other. I can only hope you can avoid both words in your lifetime.
* CANCER SUCKS *
A LAST MINUTE ADDENDUM: One more loss, our beautiful, smart, and loving dog, Murphy. Lost to cancer a year ago at age six.
My A-Z this year are random thoughts, ideas, and whatever pops into my mind for the letter of the day. As in previous years, I will keep it short and sweet.
Till next time!
I think we all have been affected by cancer one way or another. My husband is a cancer survivor after having lost his mother and sister to it. I’m so sorry that you have had so much of it in your life. And caregivers are often the forgotten heros of any long term illness. And you know that all too well.
I’m glad your husband is a survivor – cancer is so brutal. Give him a hug from me, then tell him to give you one back!
Donna, it’s difficult to know what to say about this post except my sincere condolences for the loss of your loved ones to cancer. Being a caregiver to your husband, and being able to take that motorcycle trip with him at the end, was a best case scenario for goodbye with him, it seems. He left you with the knowledge to take your own road trip. I’m guessing it gave you a chance to grieve him along the way <3
You are so right about being left with a great way to grieve. I have some great memories that will pop up in future posts…
I have had experience with both. I’m sorry for your loss, but so glad you had some grand adventures with your husband before he succumbed to cancer, and so glad that your other family members are fighting strong and that you are on the “easier side” of things, yourself. 2x survivor, here. I often think caregivers have it the hardest, though.
So sorry but glad you are still fighting. It’s an awful battle on both sides. Sending healing hugs your way!
Thank you! 🙂 Fortunately (for me, and for my kids) it’s just been bad luck – not genetics. At this point, I have no reason to think I haven’t won the war, or that another will ever be declared.
Hugs!!!!
i’m very sorry for your losses and the struggles of your family. And that sweet pup ar only six years, very sad. Cancer definitely sucks!!
I’m lost count I think of family who have succumbed to cancer. With my mother, my dad was still here doing what you did for your husband. He had a bout of colon cancer himself. This is definitely where everyone knows someone who knows someone who has had cancer.
I admire and love that you learned to ride a motorcycle and you started doing that with your husband before his passing. It is inspiring.
Life is a roller coaster and we’re all along for the ride, no matter how bumpy. I think you’re right, we all have someone in our lives who has or is fighting the battle. I had to give up riding in 2015 due to vision and balance issues. I am so blessed to have so many wonderful memories from riding. Thanks so much for dropping in and commenting!
I’m so sorry for all of your losses! We, too, have lost many close family and friends to cancer. Cancer does suck!! I love that your husband was able to take the trip all while taking care of his needs.
The older we get, the more it will impact us. Sigh…
I’m so sorry for all the turmoil and loses due to this insidious and devastating disease. It was amazing that you got to go on on that trip. My late husband was the one who convinced me, when I was in my 60’s, to get my motorcycle license – and I, too, was so glad I did.
I remember you getting the motorcycle. We chatted a couple of times. I really miss mine but even if I went to a trike, my vision is bad. Then factor in the arthritis & osteopenia. Ugh!
A thought provoking post, Donna. My partner is suffering a deep depression that has crept up since she retired and all sorts of childhood trauma crept in, at least we don’t have to face the nightmare of medical insurance here in Britain because it would be bad enough for all the physical ailments we have but I suspect that many people would simply eschew psychiatric care – mind you, it is hard enough to get on the National Health Service – long waiting lists… Barbara’s illness has meant that I have a lot of time to write…
So sorry to hear about Barbara’s depression. It’s so hard to deal with those past issues at times. Please give her a hug from me and then ask for her to give you one back!
Sorry to hear of your losses. Amazing that you got to do that trip with your husband.
Thank you and thank you for stopping by.